now we are used to this confusion

Here's a few unrelated anecdotes. That are actually related because they're all about me.

1. A couple weeks ago I got back from lunch and someone had stolen my pens off my desk. I had a black pen and a blue pen and I distinctly remember placing them neatly before I left because sometimes I have a hard time finding them. No one has been willing to admit to the thievery. I've been using my green pen exclusively since then.

2. I forgot to ever say that my big plan for Epiphany (January 6, so it's been almost two weeks now) was to delete all the drafts of emails that I've had hanging out in my drafts folder for lo these many months. Tying it in to Epiphany because that's kind of what all of them were. Or at least they were attempts at elucidating my feelings. But I never sent any of them because I felt like the recipients just wouldn't care. And so they've been sitting there, mocking me for my lack of communication skills (not that that's a new problem). They won't ever be useful. So I'm deleting them. (Yes, two weeks later. I forgot, and then I got scared. It's hard to admit that my feelings don't matter.)

There. They are all discarded. All 18 of them. (Not all of those were feelings drafts. Some of them were old to-do lists telling me to learn the bones of the human body to confidence. Guess what never happened?) Please be proud of me.

3. The line between me and the crazy disheveled people that walk around downtown is embarrassingly thin. They talk out loud to themselves as they walk, their hair is a mess, they don't necessarily smell very good...These are all things that can describe me. I talk to myself constantly. Even in public. Even while I'm watching the crazy people talk to themselves, I mutter, "Man I'm glad that's not me." The other day while I was waiting in line at the cafeteria I started singing the song that was in my head before I realized that's not something normal people do. My roommates have learned to just go with it. But lately I've been thinking that maybe I should try to...not do that as much?