be happy the way things are

I'm that girl...
...cutting across the grass
...wearing a jacket when it's slightly too warm
...hair a shambles, falling into her eyes[1]
...skirt unfashionably long
...shoes unfashionably short
...clutching a binder to her heart
...limping slightly in that way of the academic scurrying out of the sunshine
...hitting herself in the head with her keys[2] when she gets a parking ticket for being too absent-minded to put up her parking permit

If only I wore glasses, right? Or am I hopelessly nerdy enough as it is?

Actually, except for the ticket part I kind of like this persona. I can look cute and normal, but this is my natural degeneration and I am fond of it. I accept this side of me!

...and that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

"The Tower" ~ Vienna Teng

[1] Yesterday was one of those hair disasters that happen to me all the time. I wasn't content with how my hair looked when I got to work, so I turned on the webcam and redid it, with only two ponytail holders and two bobby pins to try and tame the beast. It worked okay, but by the time I was wandering across the grass it'd all come loose; my hair was having the grandest time covering my eyes and looking vaguely slovenly no matter what I did. Which wasn't much, since I didn't have any more pins. I've learned to embrace the disaster, but maybe it's time to embrace the usage of hair products.

[2] The keys were incidental; I was facepalming and my keys just happened to be in my hand. It was really very stupid of me to forget that permit sitting on the seat next to me.

my books are lying

Another month gone by! I had a hard time remembering to jot down my books as I read them, so I might be missing one (I already caught one this morning):

September
128. Legacies by Mercedes Lackey and Rosemary Edgehill
129. Flecks of Gold by Alicia Buck
130. Death of a Valentine by M.C. Beaton
131. The Amaranth Enchantment by Julie Berry
132. The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King
133. The Light of the Oracle by Victoria Hanley
134. Persuasion by Jane Austen
135. The Lonely Hearts Club by Elizabeth Eulberg
136. Imaginalis by J. M. Dematteis
137. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George
138. The Entomological Tales of Augustus T. Percival: Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone by Dene Low
139. Chalice by Robin McKinley
140. The Red Blazer Girls: The Vanishing Violin by Michael D. Beil
141. Savvy by Ingrid Law
142. Scumble by Ingrid Law
143. Enchanted Glass by Diana Wynne Jones*
144. Heart of a Samurai by Margi Preus
145. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
146. Powerless by Matthew Cody

*Fun fact: I read this one twice. Mostly on accident. My dad hated it but didn't tell me he hated it until after I read it once, so I picked it up again to see why it was so sub-par and still enjoyed it the second time. Also, this is the one I forgot, ironic since I read it twice.

And as we just finished the quarter, it is time for some stats! Hooray for stats.

Total number of books: 146
Average number of books per month: 16.2 (wow!)
Number of First-time Reads:109
Number of Rereads: 37

Edit, October 2: I did forget another one. And it was at the beginning of the month, too. I have adjusted the stats and also the list.

"Nothing without you"

my books are lying useless

I don't want to read anything these days. It's a sad state of events because I don't have anything else to do.

Here's what I managed to read last month:

August.
115. Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George
116. Birds of a Feather by Jacqueline Winspear
117. Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear
118. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
119. Magic Belowstairs by Caroline Stevermeyer
120. The Nine Tailors by Dorothy L. Sayers
121. In the Teeth of the Evidence and Other Stories by Dorothy L. Sayers
122. Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier
123. Gaudy Night by Dorothy L. Sayers
124. Son of the Shadows by Juliet Marillier
125. The Thirteenth Princess by Diane Zahler
126. The Wide-Awake Princess by E.D. Baker
127. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

You may notice that the first book on the list is one I read only a few months ago. I'm pleased that this is my first reread of the year, though embarrassed that it was a book I'd only just finished. I do tend to reread things (I've mentioned before how many old favorites I pick up and read about a hundred pages of then discard so it doesn't make it on the list), but I haven't been in the mood even for that lately. It's quite troublesome.


"Nothing Without You"

that other life

On Wednesday we took Kaylie down to BYU to begin her freshman year. Walking down the hall of her dorm (not my dorm, but so very close*) brought back a lot of memories. It's always fun to walk around campus, too, even though it was very hot.

Earlier this month I thought about making a post saying how much I still miss BYU -- that I watched my ballet girls on TV dancing to Adagio and nearly cried -- and how it pained me to see Kaylie not excited at all, but I'm over it and so is she. That's not what this post is about.

I got to thinking about all the cool new things Kaylie will get to do in the next week or so. Eating at the Cannon Center, making new friends, her ward opening social...

I remember when I was meeting people, it was hard to get to know them on any level more than just superficially -- what's your major, where are you from, how many kids are in your family -- so when this one guy, after we exchanged the pleasantries, told me about his website and said that it would be a pretty good gauge of his personality and who he was, I was favorably impressed.

Last night, remembering that experience, I thought, "I should have something like that! One place where someone can go to be introduced to who I am, a creative funny person that likes the things I like!"

Then I thought, Well, there's the blog. I could write an introduction post there; that would introduce people. Then they could do what Richie did and read the whole archives. It could work.

But here's my problem! I try to be honest about who I am and only ever sound really negative. I feel like my good qualities will speak for themselves but I need to warn people about the bad ones. When I started writing an introduction in my head, I just cringed. It's not the way these things are supposed to work.

So I've decided to hold off on finding one thing that will familiarize people with me, for now. While it was cool for that one guy to do it so adroitly, most folks just let acquaintance grow. That's what will work for Kaylie, and it should work for me.


"In Another Life"

*While Kyra lived on my very same floor, Kaylie decided to branch out and try the hall next door. It used to be a boy's hall -- so recently, in fact, that all the signs say "Men." But she lives on the same numbered floor, and in the corresponding room number where I used to live there's someone named Leslie.

the sky is bright with stars

I'd never seen a shooting star before. Not from lack of effort -- I remember going out and lying on our lawn last year for a few minutes, but I wasn't looking when one came along and I didn't really like doing stuff last August. So I gave up. That's pretty typical of my meteor shower experiences.

Thursday night, though, was great. It was midnight. We gathered all the blankets and trudged outside into the chill. I ended up putting my blanket behind the others. Kevin and Kyra on the right, Kaylie and Richie on the left, with my legs between the two couples.

I loved lying there, staring up at the Milky Way. There were no feelings of insignificance as I stared at the vast expanse of space (I checked), but it was still so very beautiful, all those spots of light. The whole neighborhood was absolutely dark.[1]

My eyes were playing tricks on me; since I'd never seen a shooting star, I didn't now what I was looking for. My contacts were slightly fuzzy, so I could see little streaks of light from staring up at the sky and I thought perhaps that might be what I was looking for.

We lay there in relative silence for a while. I thought about how much I like stargazing, but I wouldn't want to do it alone. I'd especially like someone next to me, keeping me warm but also watching the sky with the same intensity as me. I was glad enough to have the other people there but there was a bit of fifth-wheel going on.

Eventually we saw some awesome shooting stars. We saw quite a few, actually, in the hour or so that I laid out there. I can never complain that I've never seen one again.

I had much better thoughts lying there that night, but a day and a half has disintegrated them into little more than stardust. Whatever they were, I really wanted to tell someone but couldn't think of someone that would actually want to hear about it, so I determined to make a blog post. Even though I can't remember them, thought I'd make a post anyway. I really enjoyed the experience.

"Mission Street"


[1]Except for the light in our shed, which we noticed was on after a while. That led to a good conversation about what we would do if we got attacked.

powerlines draped across roads you could drive on for days

Last week it was time for another life-changing trip to Kansas. We drove out via I-80, which we'd never done before.

That was an exciting morning. When we got to Bear Lake we had to pull over to the side of the road so I could expunge the nutella sandwich I'd had for breakfast. It was great. Five minutes later my mom hit a bunny rabbit. We saw so many rabbits on the highway. Most of them actually on the highway.

Ooh, in Logan Canyon I actually saw a live skunk. Never seen one of them before. Lots of wildlife early in the morning!

Then I got to drive. Mom could actually sleep while I was driving. When the other girls drove she had to stay alert. Ha.

We had a good day driving halfway across the country. Nebraska is somehow prettier than eastern Colorado/western Kansas. Eastern Kansas is also beautiful. Mom and I had fun playing "hinky pinky" and staying awake.

Exciting adventures were had! On Tuesday we went to visit one of my colleagues. We'd worked together for nearly a year and never met, and since she lives about half an hour from my grandma's house, we decided it was an opportunity to see each other in person. So we packed the kids in and dumped them in the lake for a while!
Wednesday we went on a road trip to Ha Ha Tonka State Park. We did a few hikes and did a good job even though it was another long car ride. There's a castle there!

One funny thing that happened on the trip was Kiana looked out the window (I believe this was in Nebraska, or maybe Wyoming) and said, "Hey, cows!" Not sure why she was so excited since we see cows all the time. The funny part was, they weren't cows. They were hay bales. We called them "hay cows" the rest of the trip.


"Kansas" ~ Vienna Teng
(what else?)

I can trace all my books

Another month, another passel of books.

July
96. Ever by Gail Carson Levine
97. Thirteen Days to Midnight by Patrick Carman
98. Forest Born by Shannon Hale
99. Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
100. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
101. Up a Road Slowly by Irene Hunt
102. Emma by Jane Austen
103. Griff Carver, Hallway Patrol by Jim Krieg
104. The Cardturner by Louis Sachar
105. White Cat by Holly Black
106. Spells by Aprilynne Pike
107. The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan
108. 13 Treasures by Michelle Harrison
109. Once a Witch by Carolyn McCullough
110. The World Above by Cameron Dokey
111. Never Blame the Umpire by Gene Fehler
112. Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear
113. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
114. The Mapping of Love and Death by Jacqueline Winspear

As usual, I thought this would be a slow month. Turns out this was the busiest month yet! And that's with finally finishing Les Miserables, which I began last May and picked up every couple months for a year. What can I say, I have a short attention span.

Have a great day.


"Nothing Without You"

I'll tap into your strength and drain it dry

Well, it's Sarcoma Awareness Week. I felt like I ought to do something for it, so I am making a short informative post. If you're anything like me, you don't much about sarcoma nor even heard much about it before.

Sarcoma is the name for a tumor arising in connective tissue with the embryonic ancestry of mesoderm. Bones, muscles, cartilage, etc. Soft-tissue sarcoma is cancer of an element within connective tissue while not the tissue itself (like, for example, synovial sarcoma).

About one percent of all cancer diagnoses are a type of sarcoma. Many types occur mostly in children, like Ewing's sarcoma and osteosarcoma (both are types of bone tumor). There are some that occur mainly in adults.

It's a rare disease.

I found out all of that information from Wikipedia.

I will also tell you a bit about my favorite sarcoma, synovial sarcoma. It's so named because the cells look a bit like they came from the synovium (the fluid between joints) but that's not necessarily where the tumor springs from. My tumor was nowhere near a joint.

It comes because of a reciprocal translocation between chromosomes 18 and X. The resulting fusion gene leads to the cells multiplying at an alarming rate and creating the tumor. (There's a bit more to it than that, but most of my readers aren't molecular biologists.)

Typical treatment includes surgery to remove the tumor, radiation therapy to the affected area, and chemotherapy (typically doxorubicin and ifosfamide, two nasty nasty chemicals). Depending on the clinical trial, radiation can occur both before and after the surgery. Luckily, mine was only before. I was still peeling four months after that treatment.

I feel like I should ask people to donate to some sarcoma research time or other, but I don't really feel like it. It's a rare disease. You're not super likely to know anyone that gets it.

Besides me.


"My Medea"

P.S.: If you're interested in hearing some of my reflections about my treatment, check out this post. There's not much there regarding what actually happened, but it does list some cool things that went on in the name of science!

my books

June
79. The Magician of Hoad by Margaret Mahy
80. Mairelon the Magician by Patricia C. Wrede
81. The Magician's Ward by Patricia C. Wrede
82. The Princess and the Snowbird by Mette Ivie Harrison
83. The Sheen on the Silk by Anne Perry
84. Twice a Prince by Sherwood Smith
85. Finnikin of the Rock by Melina Marchetta
86. Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George
87. The Giant-Slayer by Iain Lawrence
88. The God of the Hive by Laurie R. King
89. The Water Seeker by Kimberly Willis Holt
90. The Ring of Five by Eoin McGamee
91. Word after Word after Word by Patricia McLachlan [not sure this one should count. It was seriously only 100 pages long.]
92. Raider's Ransom by Emily Diamand
93. Sammy Keyes and the Art of Deception by Wendelin Van Draanen
94. The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan
95. The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan

We're halfway through the year! You know what that means, right? It means it's time for some stats!


Total number of books: 95
Average number of books per month: 15.83
Number of Rereads (books I'd read before this year): 22
Number of First Time Reads: 73

Life is good.

the shape of the boundary you leave behind

I've been playing Solitaire lately. Every time I play more than a few games a day I have this vision in my head of a great competition -- but it would never work, because I'm the only I know that would be interested in it.

I play one-draw, timed game. In my ideal little competition world we would play for a set time (10 minutes, for example) and the point would be to have the most points. Often I think that a sub-category for number of seconds spent on a game would be good, too, but if you're already playing a set time...I'm still working on it.

Anyway, I think I could do pretty well at that competition. I've found myself training to end a game with the most points even if I'm not winning. It's pretty ridiculous.

Why am I telling you about this silly daydream that I've had for years? Because I got tired of having the bruise post at the top. And nothing much else is going on in my life that is worth blogging about. (Not that this is a particularly stellar example.)


"Harbor"