you're made of memories you bury or live by

This morning I woke up (later than usual, but still early enough to make it to work if I hurried) because in my dream I'd started asking everyone where the bathroom was. My brain got the hint.

I thought I might try to go back to sleep (it was still mostly dark) but instead for some reason I remembered something I did in high school and I was so appalled I couldn't sleep anymore.

I was crazy. Ca-RAZY. It's a wonder these high school boys let me be their friend at all (though it is no wonder none of them asked me on dates).

The internet was new; pretty much all I knew how to do was email. I emailed the boys in my friend group regularly (which now I find very forward, but that was how things were back then. We also called their houses every time we wanted to hang out). One boy, who I must have liked at the time, told me that he was blocking my email address. I said or did something that he didn't want to deal with.

I didn't know what blocking was (my .att address didn't have that capability) and henceforth assumed that he wasn't getting my emails at all. Now I am pretty sure they just went to his junk email folder and he could read them anytime. Which is awfully embarrassing...

...Because I kept sending him emails. Like, every day. I can't remember at all the kinds of things I said; I think sometimes it was just little things maybe trying to annoy him, testing to see if I was truly blocked. Sometimes I got a little more real. I am pretty sure I sent him like journal entries of my feelings (not toward him, at least probably not).

But anyway one time like a year later he sent me an email that said "I unblocked you" or something. And I am pretty sure he told me he was able to read my emails? I don't know.

I'm just appalled that I did that. What was I thinking???? Sending personal emails to a boy who clearly didn't want to talk to me under the assumption that he couldn't read them was probably the stupidest thing I did all through high school. And I did a lot of stupid things.

(I'm really glad I didn't remember that whole episode until right now. Unfortunately he probably remembers it better because he was the one getting emails from a crazy girl.)

 One email escapade I do remember being fairly positive in high school was my Daily Harry Potter Quote that I did from January 2005 until I ran out of quotes in April. Looking back I'm convinced that many of them didn't really care (especially when it got more autobiographical than amusing) but my list of recipients did grow.

Here's the quote for April 2, 2005 to illustrate what I mean:

We are not going to mention anything about the fact that it is very late at night, we are only going to commend that Leslie even remembered to send a quote at all.

 

You know, when you're on your merry way to conference, some people just drive (and walk) slow.

 

"I suppose you think you're harder to get past than a pack of enchantments!"
Professor McGonagall, I, 269

I think they really are harder to get past than a pack of enchantments.  I dunno, I always liked that line.  Well, have a nice day!  *leslie*

 High-school me was great.