Thursday, December 8, 2011

want me you never will

So, once upon a time I accidentally started something by posting the following video to my Facebook:


Maybe you've seen it; if you haven't, it's not long--feel free to watch it.  If you have, you're wondering what I accidentally started since there have been no flaming discussions in my comments.  No one has a strong opinion about whether this is right or wrong.

Well, I started a couple things.  A bunch of my Facebook friends (I think I've seen like 6 or 7 now) also posted the video, after me.  It's possible they got it from one of their other friends, but it could've been me, right?  It's been interesting to follow those conversations (not very interesting, but more interesting than my post).

Also I started myself thinking about this situation in my life.  Part of my ponderings have been about how the video can't be accurate.  There was definitely some editing involved, and the editing could've excluded some less savory responses.  ("Savory" meaning, I guess, "What the filmmaker intended to portray.")  There's certainly some guys out there that count girls as their friends.

What does "friend" even mean?  What would "hook up" imply in my case (or in the case of most of the people interviewed)?  How do these girls know that these guys secretly like them?

So the definitions aren't clear.

Now, as far as my life goes.  Off the top of my head I can think of two guys I would unequivocally consider my friends, currently.  If I called them in dire straits, they wouldn't hesitate to do everything they could to help.  And they'd probably do the same for any other girl they know; they're pretty solid.  Awesome friends to have.

(I do know more than two guys, I promise.  The others are either fellows I'm "actively" pursuing, or fellows that I get along with just fine in our business-related interactions but have no real interest in seeing socially, or fellows that I'm not getting along with very well.  Does that about cover it?Oh, there's also the fellows that aren't my friends anymore because we don't go in the same circles.  Makes it harder for me to call them in dire straits, especially if they're in the subgroup of "married". Edit: I also forgot the generic acquaintances. I know them too.)

Anyway, these two guys I'm thinking of.  I'm pretty sure they have no interest in dating me, and here's why:

Neither have asked me on a date.

Here's where people can start complaining, "But maybe they want to!  Maybe they've been secretly pining for you all these months, Leslie, just waiting for your word.  And don't forget that them asking you out doesn't indicate any more than just a basic amount of interest, anyway, so why are you making a big deal out of it?"

(Okay, that last part is my own personal soapbox.  I doubt that my naysayers would bring it up at this juncture.)

The only answer I have to these complaints is: They don't want to.  *shrug* Is there anything else I can say?

Also, I know lots of girls with married or otherwise-engaged (oh, I'm funny) guys as friends, and there's no reason to look for anything more than friendship.  It's no good to say that "under no circumstances" it can happen.  It happens in my life, it happens in other girls' lives.
I still laughed at the movie!  It was interesting to see a guy's perspective and for girls to admit that they're often suspicious of their guy friends' motives (is that not what they said? Trust me, that's what they were implying).  I guess it's just the sweeping generalization that bugged me.

Let's be friends!

("Unwritten Letter #1" -- full of applicable lyrics)

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