Wednesday, November 9, 2016

a change is gonna come, said the signal to the noise

It's been a rough day. Last night at around 9 I did the math, figured out the outcome, shook my head, checked Facebook to see what the reactions were, and went to bed (and then kept checking Utah election results for a while, just to see). It wasn't what I wanted, but I knew everything would be okay. Slept just fine, even.

Today I got to work and started reading more reactions. Some were hopeful, some were even happy, but a lot were really, really scared. (Mainly people the president-elect has targeted: blacks, Latinx, Muslims. LGBT I think?) I started absorbing their fear and began crying.

Yep, at work. It's fine. I went to the file room to catch up on some filing and hopefully calm down.

Caught up on some filing but then started thinking about how people (men) are going to think sexual assault is okay because the president-elect made it seem that way. I am afraid of that. That did not calm me down. Kinda the opposite, actually.

I eventually recovered but I have this awesome feature I like to call the "amazing human faucet" -- sometimes when I start crying, I don't stop. It just keeps going for a few hours. At my desk I could hear the various celebrations of coworkers who were legitimately happy about the outcome of the election and I just felt for those who are unhappy, whose perspective the people at work don't see or don't care about.*

Anyway, if people look like they've been crying, don't ask if they're okay. It might make them start crying again even as they say "Yep everything is fine"

And I do believe that everything will be fine. I, and all others disappointed by this outcome, are allowed to grieve. Allow us this space so that we can come together full-heartedly to believe in America, and to work righteous endeavors.

*Hey, just so you know, it's okay to disagree that certain policies are good/bad for America. But don't dismiss people's fears about how something will affect their life. Their feelings are valid (because they're their feelings! They're real things), and so are yours. If we work from that understanding, we can actually get somewhere.

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