a connection never hoped for

Sometime in the last week I seem to have somehow strained my hamstring. It hurts a lot. It's kind of funny, too, because every time I stand up and wince and limp around I remember that a strained hamstring is the initial diagnosis for the pain in my leg. Even though, having experienced both, they are nothing alike.

(Oh, I should mention that my pulled* hamstring is in my right leg. My pained leg was my left. Sometimes it still hurts...and it's still nothing like a pulled muscle.

*I'm keeping things conservative from now on. It's not like I actually know what a strained hamstring feels like.)

But I do know where the doctors came from in reaching that decision: it hurts in the same place I complained about and some of my phenotypical manifestations are the same -- that was completely the wrong word. I was being far too clever and referring to how things look rather than how they are...uh...genetically? See, the metaphor breaks down way too quickly. Anyway, I limp with both legs.

Probably strained pulled it falling down while playing basketball last week. Twisted my ankle, bumped my chin into my knee, and hit the floor heavy as a bag of rocks. I'm so hazardous.

Anyway, I'm sure that's fascinating for all of you.

I threw away most of my old papers today. I sorted them out for discarding yesterday and today I did it. Lots of them were just old church programs, because I used to hoard every blank piece of paper I got in church so I could doodle and write backwards on them. It's pretty crazy how I don't remember who a lot of those people are. Not so crazy. Now that it's 2012 it's been like 4 years. I also threw away nice notes from people that I don't care about anymore/I have no idea who they were.

I also threw away Christmas cards and birthday greetings and nice notes from people that I was way, way close to. That was harder. But if I never look through them except when I'm looking for things to throw away, what's the point in keeping them?

Goodbye, all my old friendships. Some of us still get to be friends. I just don't keep your written words anymore.

Here's the thing, though!  I have a block about throwing away missionary letters!  Any of them! I can't do it!

I mean, I still have all the letters from that one kid who ended up going off the deep end a little bit. (I initially called him my crazy ex, but I decided that was unkind and probably not even true.) And the letters from my high school friends that I never really hung out with again and then they all got married. Plus other letters that still mean a lot to me. I can't get rid of any of them.

I'm wondering if it's because they're letters from a ~missionary. (I'm fully guilty of throwing away nice notes from one friend but keeping all their missionary letters.) I'm not sure why it makes it a difference, but it must. Was it because it's so fun to get mail? And write mail? And especially when it's, as I said, a ~missionary because they're special? I just don't know!  All I know is I can't get rid of them yet.

And I don't even want to.

("Unwritten Letter #1")