now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom

this picture came up in my memories and it's apt
2 yrs ago a gentleman caller gave me this bouquet
and I hoped
and a month later he'd ghosted me
it's easier not to hope

I picked my most recent song to learn simply based on the fact that I'd been enjoying listening to it, and decided to see if I could figure out how to play it. And I could! (with a slight key change, which is no obstacle for me)

And as I've been working on it (and realizing that there was no way I'd memorize the lyrics before I got bored of working on it, so I just read them) I've realized that it's actually, like, kinda meaningful.

I am the poster child for never wanting to let myself feel. If Hanahaki disease were real I'd be coughing up flowers all the time because of my utter unwillingness to be vulnerable with anybody.

So it's really hypocritical of me to sing this song and then encourage people to feel their feelings and be vulnerable about stuff. I have been shying from vulnerability as recently as, hmm, today.

But maybe, with these lyrics ringing in my ears, I'll be better?

lol