threatening to spill into words

Sunday School is usually my least favorite hour of church. It just is. Notable exceptions are when I had a crush on the teacher, and when I was the teacher. (I apparently have a hidden attention-getting streak. And there's nothing like an excuse to stare at someone for an hour.)

Mostly it's boring. Sometimes I feel like the teacher wasn't prepared (or doesn't know how to prepare well). But I'm good at dealing with it, and I try to at least volunteer to read a scripture every week.

Last month I must've been in a really antagonistic mood, because through the entire Sunday School lesson I was downright hostile. I glared at my scriptures in order to not glare at the teacher -- but that didn't make me feel any better because we weren't even using them.

I ended up writing backwards for much of the time. I do that when I have feelings. I'm embarrassed that I had to physically write reminders like, "Keep it together" but that's the kind of day it was. Or I really just didn't like the lesson.

The teacher kept asking questions that have answers in the scriptures, but we never looked them up. (We didn't even open them.) Instead he would keep asking the question over and over until someone's floundering guess was close enough to the answer he was looking for. And they were vague questions too. I hate vague questions that only have one right answer.

So between the questions and the lack of scriptures, I was annoyed. Even more annoyed when I found out that I'd known the right answers to his questions but hadn't dared volunteer them because everyone else (who were giving adequate answers to my mind) was wrong. And I dislike being wrong.

Anyway.

I knew that yesterday it'd be time for that teacher again, and I thought I should prepare just in case I could salvage the lesson for myself. So I read up on it from my favorite Gospel Doctrine blog, and skimmed the chapters.

And it made a huge difference! We still never opened the scriptures as a class (actually, a girl asked if he could hand her a spare set and I scoffed inside because we weren't going to use them) but I opened them! And since I'd read ahead, I knew the answers to his questions! And since I'd been thinking about the lesson a little bit, I could provide answers even in the "discussion" questions. And participating (even though I blushed every time and even though I couldn't quite keep from glaring while I did it) helped me feel more engaged in the lesson. Also, bonus: it moved the lesson along because he wasn't trying to eke out the right answer from other classmates.

I could also see where he was going with his monologue. It wasn't totally random like it seemed last time. He was actually using the scripture block in some way or another. And that made me feel better.

So the moral of this story is: Read the lesson ahead of time. It makes your experience better. I felt the Spirit. I wasn't hostile. And it's even possible that someone in the class was impressed with my participation and I'll get a date out of it. (haha, like that's ever happened.)

Title text: "Between"

P.S.: I had a specific picture in mind for this post, and I looked for it longer than I spent writing. I don't feel comfortable uploading the screenshot but couldn't find another version. So it's another picture-less post. Sorry. (It was perfect, too. This sweet teacher never fails to fill me with hostility, because it's her picture I see every time I get kicked off the online seminary site in the middle of doing something. So the parallels were nice.)

I can trace all my books [November 2012]

November
114. The Whitechapel Conspiracy by Anne Perry
115. The Lions of Little Rock by Kristin Levine
116. Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
117. Traitor's Gate by Anne Perry
118. Banana Split by Josi S. Kilpack
119. Ungifted by Gordon Korman
120. Still Life with Shapeshifter by Sharon Shinn
121. The Five Books of Jesus by James Goldberg
122. Bah, Humbug! by Heather Horrocks
123. The Danbury Scandals by Mary Nichols
124. A Time to Love by Barbara Cameron
125. Flame of Sevenwaters by Juliet Marillier
126. The FitzOsbornes at War by Michelle Cooper
127. Pride and Precipitation by Heather Horrocks

I'm mostly just proud I figured out how to copy and paste! Not sure I can replicate it though...

that kind of grateful

Thanksgiving morning I sat down to complete my "I'm grateful for..." list that I've been compiling for a blog post, a la my 2009 adventure.

But then I paused. As much as I enjoy my vague and layered expressions of gratitude, they seemed to be missing something. Then I realized: In expressing gratitude for things, I wasn't paying enough attention to who I was expressing gratitude to.

About the time I realized that, I looked up at Kyra & Kevin and said, "Thank you for having me." It felt awkward but I also thought I'd better at least try to practice what I was deciding.

So I decided instead of posting my "I'm grateful for..." list, I would instead be more deliberately grateful to others for what I have.

Most important is my Heavenly Father, to whom I have expressed gratitude for my many blessings -- including most of my abandoned list (patience during traffic, for example -- I think that is definitely a divine gift). And to whom I am trying to remember to express gratitude a lot more often, for everything.

More mortal gratitude expression...I'm still working on. One of the things I was "grateful for..." this month was a book that I read twice in succession the first time I read it, and then when I picked it up at my grandparents' house again (because I couldn't help myself) I still loved it and cried and then picked it up again at the end to see if I could translate the character's voice in my head into my own voice (not very well, sadly, because I'd love to read it aloud to someone so they can hear it the way I do). I really should write this author a letter letting him know how much I've enjoyed this book of his and how grateful I am that he went to all the work to make it worth reading. I'm scared to, but I think we'll both appreciate the gesture if I ever get around to it.

And all the other people in my life that I haven't expressed gratitude to, sorry. Maybe I'll get to you too. For now, just know that I am grateful for your presence in my life.

Title Text: "The Last Snowfall"

hoy cerrado

Here's a nice bit of symmetry:

We went out for street tacos last week just before I hopped on a plane to Michigan.

We went out for ... street-ish tacos in Detroit just before I hopped on a plane back to Utah.

And lucky me, to get tacos twice in a week!

Title text: "No Gringo" ~ Vienna Teng
[Nothing's closed, it's just Spanish, okay? I thought it might be better than "tan amargo"]

I can trace all my books [October 2012]

I believe I have smashed my previous record. Train rides are amazing. And so are evenings that are long with no electronic devices to distract me. I've decided to start going out some evenings (FHE, Institute, temple) so November shouldn't be as dramatically long a list.


October
92. Cast in Ruin by Michelle Sagara
93. The Road to Yesterday by L.M. Montgomery
94. Shadowfell by Juliet Marillier
95. Allegiance by Cayla Kluver
96. The Seven Tales of Trinket by Shelley Moore Thomas
97. Wake by Amanda Hocking
98. Ruby Redfort: Look Into My Eyes by Lauren Child
99. Deep Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards by Janette Rallison
100. Fame, Glory, and Other Things on My To-Do List by Janette Rallison
101. Revenge of the Cheerleaders by Janette Rallison
102. Redoubt by Mercedes Lackey
103. Dodger by Terry Pratchett
104. Pride & Pyramids: Mr. Darcy in Egypt by Amanda Grange and Jacqueline Webb
105. The Girl in the Clockwork Collar by Kady Cross
106. The Treachery of Beautiful Things by Ruth Frances Long
107. I, Robot by Isaac Asimov
108. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas
109. Cardington Crescent by Anne Perry
110. Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale
111. Rutland Place by Anne Perry
112. Daisy by Josi S. Kilpack
113. Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

I can trace all my books [September 2012]

September
81. Struck by Rhonda Stapleton
82. Tiger Lily by Jodilynn Anderson
83. A Sunless Sea by Anne Perry
84. The Princess Curse by Merrie Haskell
85. Twin Targets by Marta Perry
86. Storm Warning by Linda Hall
87. Flight of the Doves by Walter Macken
88. The Fighting Ground by Avi
89. Eventide by Tracy & Laura Hickman
90. A Year In Coal Harbor by Polly Horvath
91. The Kindling by Braden Bell

blazing speed-of-light machines

I like to walk fast. I like to hear the swift, business-like click of my heels along the sidewalk. I like to feel my stride lengthening until I hit my accustomed pace. I like arriving at the crosswalk seconds sooner than the people I shared an elevator with, even though we all cross at the same time anyway.

(Mostly I like the way it feels. It feels healthy.)

Sometimes I imagine the people I leave behind mocking me inside their heads. "Look at that girl, she's going so fast when we're all getting to the same place at the same time." But I'm really not out to race them; I'm out to walk as fast as I feel like going.

(Interesting side note:  when I'm sad, I walk way more slowly. It's almost like wandering instead of walking. It's as if my emotions have drained me of the energy I would use to put one foot in front of the other.)

Obviously I have paid attention recently to my walking pace, but usually it doesn't make very much difference -- maybe I'm waiting a little longer at the elevator or the crosswalk than the people behind me.

I did notice the difference it made when I was actually walking with a group. (Of girls. I think part of my problem is walking in groups of men, who also tend to walk faster I guess.) I was just going along my normal pace and I kept having to stop and wait for my sister and her friends. This happened several times! We weren't in a hurry, so I wasn't walking fast. I was just walking. They were just slow.

I also like to drive fast. I don't know if they're related, walking fast and driving fast. But I almost think the end result is the same: we're getting to the same place at the same time, why rush?

Maybe I just like the way it feels.

But let's be scientific here: does driving faster actually improve your travel time? Let's say you're traveling 80 miles one way. (Randomly picked that number out of a hat.) And let's say the average speed limit is, oh, 65. (Also a random number, of course.)

How long does it take to drive 80 miles going 65 mph the whole way? My handy dandy calculator suggests, 74 min.

But we're in Utah. Everybody goes 5 over. It's our right as Americans. How long does it take to drive those same 80 miles going 70 mph the whole way? Calculating...68 min.

A whole six-minute difference! Does it really save you that much time to speed? Not really.

(Oh, but what if you decide to go 10 mph over the whole way! That brings you down to 64 minutes. A ten-minute time difference, for 10 mph velocity difference? I'm not sure where the benefit really is here.)

So...why speed?

I don't know. I like to walk fast too.



Postscript
I got a new car! It has cruise control, so it's much easier to control my speed instead of just going with flow of traffic. It looks like this:

And while I'm on the topic, I'll explain the name really quick. I decided to name my car Tia, even though ... I don't think it looks like a Tia. But I almost felt like I had to. See, this car is an Elantra. Elantra sounds like Elantris, which is a book I like. In the book, there is recurring silverness. So I wanted to name my car something from that book. In looking through the glossary of Aons (just read the book I guess) I found the Aon for travel was Tia. Travel! That is exactly what I do with this car! So I decided that driving in the car was almost exactly like close enough to drawing the Aon for Tia. Hence, the name. I know everyone was so curious about that.

Also, I feel like I have to admit that I could do a lot with 10 minutes. But I've had that portion of the post written in my head for over a year now and finally decided to post it in an attempt to shame myself into going the speed limit.

Title text: "Enough to Go By"

I can trace all my books [August 2012]

I thought I'd read so many books this month! But when I sat down just now to enumerate them all it's actually not that many. (Of course, since I didn't enumerate until today, it's possible I forgot some.)

Sorry that all my posts lately have been about books. I do have another couple posts in the pipeline, if I can remember them. But in the meantime, here's my list for August:

August
70. Dragonswood by Janet Lee Carey
71. Rose Cottage by Mary Stewart
72. Second Glance by Jodi Picoult
73. Between the Lines by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leef
74. The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory
75. Wentworth Hall by Abby Grahame
76. The Far West by Patricia C. Wrede
77. Rebecca's Rose by Jennifer Beckstrand
78. The Confession by Charles Todd
79. Sammy Keyes and the Power of Justice Jack by Wendelin van Draanen
80. Princess Academy: Palace of Stone by Shannon Hale

I can trace all my books [July 2012]

I am just not reading as much these days. And that's okay.


July
60. A Novel Bookstore by Laurence Cosse
61. The Day of the Storm by Rosamunde Pilcher
62. Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
63. Fateful by Claudia Gray
64. Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai
65. Turtle in Paradise by Jennifer Holm
66. One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia
67. Thunder over Kandahar by Sharon E. McKay
68. The Reading Promise by Alice Ozma
69. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

I can trace all my books [June 2012]

Hello! It's actually the second day of the month, but yesterday was relatively crazy (either that or I really wanted to take a nap instead of post) and I wanted to make sure and take the time to make this post worthwhile. Since it's all I post these days. (I only have one idea, and it's not good enough.) At any rate, the list:

June
51. Slayers by C.J. Hill
52. Leaving Gee's Bend by Irene Latham
53. A Confusion of Princes by Garth Nix
54. Daughters of the Sea: Lucy by Kathryn Lasky
55. The Apothecary by Maile Meloy
56. The Girl Who Could Silence the Wind by Meg Medina
57. The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith
58. Death comes to Pemberley by P.D. James
59. The Selection by Kiera Cass


I've had a request to list the books I've read that I'd recommend for family members and such. I'll include it at the end of my six-month stats here.

Books read: 59 (if I'd known, I'd have squeezed in one more book to make it round. I like round.)
First-time: 56
Reread: 3
Fiction: 58
Nonfiction: 1
Average: 9.83

The reason I haven't made recommendation lists in the past is I read such a variety of books. I never know what will appeal to people. I'll just assume that people have about my same taste.

Stand-out books:
Cinder by Marissa Meyer
I loved the way this story tied together. Some of it was predictable (it's a Cinderella story, after all) but I really liked the differences and the new technology/mythology that the author incorporated. YA fiction, but I'd let anyone with the right reading level get into it. Only problem? It's probably a trilogy.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
He did a great job with the emotions and relationships in this book. (John Green is a fairly popular author for a reason.) Caveat: I definitely remember at least one swear word. And it's YA material. (Oh, and it's about cancer. If that's a problem, don't read it.)

Cold Cereal by Adam Rex
Silly grown-up. This book is for kids! What if cereal box mascots were really refugees from like Fairyland or something? (I remember thinking that children would enjoy this book, and I think I enjoyed it, but it was a little below my level.)

Spy School by Stuart Gibbs
Basically this guy ends up going to spy school even though he's not qualified at all, but don't worry, he saves the day anyway. I think. Since everyone at the school is in middle or high school, that's the intended audience. It was a fun book, though.

The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen
These orphan boys are told to learn how to become the missing prince, not realizing the danger they and the kingdom are in. Loved this book. It's YA/J? I can't remember if it had any YA material in it. I think it's safely J, and it's fun for boys and girls.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
I loved this book a lot. At first I was a little skeptical -- racing bloodthirsty water horses along the sea where they're more likely to savage people seemed like a recipe for disaster to me, but the relationships sold me, and I truly appreciated the mythology as a perfect backdrop for the way the people on this special island interacted. Spoiler alert: Savaging by mean water horses does happen. Sometimes to people.

Enchanted by Alethea Kontis
I think the base fairytale is the Frog Prince? But it's hard to tell because this family seems to get tied up into every fairy tale possible! I was impressed at how she was able to incorporate them all into one (mostly) coherent storyline. YA, but I can't remember any reason someone with the appropriate reading level wouldn't enjoy it.



Do you know my problem? I liked every book I've read so far this year, otherwise I wouldn't have read them. I am not sure if the ones I chose are the ones I should recommend. (If you're into YA love triangles, I didn't include those. If you're into Paranormal YA romance, I didn't include too many of those either. I read them though! And liked them.) But you can start with this list and I'll try to be more discriminating in the way I recommend in future.