sail on time, rain or shine

Last night I started making a Facebook status, then I changed my mind. But I still felt the need to make a statement, so I proceeded to Twitter. That helped.

But it is not enough.

I apparently feel so strongly about this that I'm writing an entire blog post! The subject: shipping.

I'm not talking FedEx or DHL.

I'm talkin' HMS Harmony and Fire & Ice.

(Those are the only two cool ship names I remember, and one of them is still a portmanteau. But the best portmanteau. Man, Harry and Hermione should've ended up together just because Harmony is a great ship name.) (Fire & Ice was Draco/Ginny. Yes, people really thought they should be a couple. I have no room to talk though, I actually wrote them as a couple one time.)

In case the context clues haven't filled you in, "shipping" is seeing two fictional characters and thinking, "You should probably end up together." Probably a shortening of "relationship"...if relationship were a verb....

Shipping is great! But it is also apparently only understood on the internet. One night at dinner I asked my friend if she still ships me with one of our mutual friends, and she had no idea what I was talking about. And it's hard to explain shipping.

"I...like the idea of you guys as a couple," she said, hesitatingly. "Does that mean I ship ... I'm shipping?"

Yeah, she so ships Chilimac. (I gave myself a ship name?! Too bad this one is destined to never sail. Much like Pine Tree. That ship never sailed.)

Best codename ever invented, though.

(I don't usually ship myself with people. Or ship real life people in general. Much. Just so you know. It's almost exclusively a fictional endeavor.)

I used to be all about the canon ships. You know, ships that made it into the actual canon of the fictional universe I was in. Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks. But the older I get and the more fandoms I experience, the more willing I am to get behind ships that didn't sail in canon.

AND NOTHING WILL EVER EVER EVER CONVINCE ME THAT ZUKO/KATARA SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A THING. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN A THING. ZUTARA FOREVER.

THIS REALLY HAPPENED I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP

Shipping is a big part of my fictional escapades. And, let me tell you, it's huge on the internet. Ship wars are a thing. (Especially before Half-Blood Prince came out. H/Hr and R/Hr were at odds all the time! And then HBP did come out and JKR called H/Hr shippers "delusional" and then those who didn't jump ship started calling themselves "Proudly Delusional" and it was a big thing and I'm so glad I was there for it.)

I even have opinions about using portmanteaus as ship names instead of a symbolic representation of the characters (I mean, which would you rather ship, Literati or Rogan? Little shout-out to the Gilmore Girls fandom...that I missed by however many years. Just as well). Never ever will you see me use "Hinny" when H/G or even Harry/Ginny are an option.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I like to get invested in the fiction I partake of. I like to talk to people about the fiction I partake of, especially if they are also invested (or if they're open to be talked into investing). And I'm more willing to admit to these things than I used to be. Feel free to ask me what I'm shipping these days. I'll let you know.

followers of my faith [Mormon Monday 73]

The music I copied over in my great hard drive rescue a couple months ago is not at all organized. Every once in a while I'll click into a random folder to see what's there. And I found The Ahrens Band in one of them!

My freshman boyfriend's second counselor in the bishopric of his home ward was in a band at BYU. He gave me the CD as a token of our relationship, or something. He didn't like it that much.

But I like it! Listening to it again after several years of forgetting about it was an exercise in familiarity. Some of these songs were on my "Sunday Sounds" playlist, which meant I listened to them weekly for a couple years.

Including "stand tall" whose lyrics I found very touching as I sat there on a Friday night, aimlessly playing 2048 (if I had to guess) and listening to music. I don't necessarily love it, but there's just something about some of the lines here:

Walking through this life I lose my way
Walking off the path I stumble and fall Listening through the tears I hear a voice
Listening deep within I hear it call
Don't give up

Don't stay down
Don't ever feel like you've been beaten
Stand up
Stand tall
Stand and walk on the path again

Looking forward I see the trail
Looking ahead find my way once more
Climbing to greater heights I see the view
Climbing, stumbling blocks turned stepping-stones

Don't give up
Don't stay down
Don't ever feel like you've been beaten
Stand up
Stand tall
Stand and walk on the path again

Sometimes in life we don't know where we're going
Sometimes we stumble and lose our way
We need to hold on to the dream that we've created
And always in our minds they'll say

Don't give up
Don't stay down
Don't ever feel like you've been beaten
Stand up
Stand tall
Stand and walk on the path again
Stand and walk on the path again

My favorite part is the imagery of stumbling blocks turned stepping stones. And the encouragement we all have to return and repent after we've fallen into a little spot of sin. Stand up, stand tall.

If you're interested in hearing more of The Ahrens Band, they put their music on iTunes (including the famous "peanut butter and jelly" which was written by them) for purchase! (Or you can just come over and I'll play it for you.)

followers of my faith [Mormon Monday 72]

I want to marry a meek man. Like, someone asked recently what kind of guy I'm after and my two main criteria are 1) meek and 2) I don't get tired of his company.

And I got made fun of!

But vindication is mine because it says right in the Sunday School manual that the definition of meek is "gentle, forgiving, benevolent."

Yes, please.

I don't like that the connotation of meek is to be a doormat. To be completely unassuming and demure. I admit that I've used it in sort of those terms in my own writing before, but I think meekness is a characteristic to be encouraged, not laughed at.

I wish I were more meek. Because then I would inherit the earth and that's, you know, a good goal to have.

followers of my faith [Mormon Monday 71]

Last week I was reading in D&C 20 and came across these two verses:

30 And we know that justification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true;
31 And we know also, that sanctification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true, to all those who love and serve God with all their mights, minds, and strength.

I love thinking about justification and sanctification. In my mind, I think of it like a cup. A cup that's full of gross stuff. Justification is making the cup clean. Sanctification is polishing, improving, and making the cup less susceptible to the stains from gross stuff.

Both steps are necessary. And both steps are important. And neither are possible without the grace of Jesus Christ, according to the above verses. One thing that these verses indicate is that sanctification requires more work on our part, while justification answers the ends of the law. So that's something to think about.

Just a quick thought for a Monday!

supposed to retire; we'd rather it lit itself on fire

Just very briefly...

I think I can quit this game now. (I even did a little better before it all went pear-shaped, but this was the last screenshot I took.)

As you can see, work has been very productive lately. (I have actually been super busy the entire time I was methodically working on this game, but I had to multitask or my brain would leak out my ears.)

and the words, they're everything [10]

For FHE this week we had a tri-ward activity and one portion of it was speed dating. For some reason. Anyway one of the suggested questions was if we knew what LARP-ing was. And I do! Because, as I told the guy who was shocked and appalled at my knowledge, "I have my finger on the pulse of geek culture."

And these WWIS posts prove it. Well, they more prove that I have a passing knowledge of pop culture, but pop, geek, all the same these days.

For example, this meme recently had a resurgence when the President himself made a video employing it:

Except my hashtag was maybe a little less ironic. I know how taxes work.

I'm not even in these fandoms but I know an awful lot about these franchises (okay, full disclosure, I've watched some of them):

I may as well start writing fanfic, I've got such a handle on these characters!

Speaking of fanfic, no one is surprised at my ability to see Harry Potter in everything.

Tell me you can't see that Potions class. I kind of want to write it.

I know the following tweet makes more sense if you assume it's hockey-related (never seen a hockey game or this movie, but I was a child of the 90's. I've heard of The Mighty Ducks). But that's not where my mind went:

I'm not entirely sure whether Arthur is pop culture or geek culture or just...not culture. And I don't know where Love Ducks falls on that scale either.

This one is the truest of all truisms:

We love recommending books to each other. And to everyone else. Which reminds me, I never did a second-half 2014 roundup. Sorry.

I think this one is SO hilarious. Like, I heard the song the other day and I started laughing because I couldn't stop thinking about how funny I am.

I guess you are what you eat...

followers of my faith [Mormon Monday 70]

One of our prophets, presumably the one just previous to the current, is said to have remarked that instead of treating prayers as a phone call, with a distinct opening and closing, and the business concluded, he opens his prayer to the Lord in the morning and closes it at night, and it continues throughout the day.

So it's less like a phone call and more like a text conversation, that just rolls through the day and doesn't require an end or beginning. Can even span multiple days (I don't really know how this works, I'm not a big texter).

Then the thought came to my Relief Society president, who is the source of this story, that it's like a text conversation but God mostly responds in emojis and you have to try to figure out what that means.

For an example of only communicating by emojis, I turn to a fictional character determined to be an uninvolved participant in what happens around him, so he only uses emojis in his tweets to illustrate that he never speaks on camera (because he's behind the camera). So here's Nathan from Classic Alice*:

I know what this says, because I saw the episode. But I imagine for most of you it's pretty cryptic.

I love the imagery of trying to figure out what's meant by the revelation you receive. It's even more poignant for me because guess what emojis look like on my phone:

That's me, communicating with my eyes my utter pleasure at getting empty squares via text when I'm supposed to be getting something else.

So helpful! And so completely apt to how I feel most of the time. Guess I should reread some old posts of mine about prayer and see what I can learn from myself.

I still love the idea of keeping a conversation with God in your heart all the day long. Also I'm pretty sure that's what's recommended by scripture...

Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support: yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. (Alma 37:36)

Sounds like a good plan to me.


*By the way, Classic Alice is in an extended period of fundraising for their next season, so I definitely recommend checking it out. If you like it, donate a couple dollars to the cause. You'll not only get a new season of Classic Alice (which is great), you'll also get other perks that you can read about on their funding page.

veiled in paper, reading line by line the pain there

As mentioned previously, I've recently recovered some of my old files. The following poem (well, song, really, but not only did I stop mid-stanza on the lyrics I never even started on the music) is one thing I found.

And since I have a bit of a tradition of posting poetry in honor of Valentine's Day, here you go.

All Paper is Made of Carbon
You never did trust me
With any of your things
I guess it’s only right
I’m not trusted with your heart

Sign here, you said,
in triplicate, you said
Promise me you won’t
Lose or break it

And you handed me
A carbon copy of my contract
Canary yellow
As if it were special that way

Oh, don’t you see
All paper is made of carbon
This yellow page
It’s only as good as your trust in me

The very next day
It didn’t take long, did it?
You asked for it back

Yep.

No idea where that one was going. Seemed pretty bitter, but forgive. It was February 2008.

Oh now I have some inspiration to keep working on this! Love when that happens.

Oh, don't you see
All paper is made of carbon
This yellow page
Burns just the same as anything else

Right??? The only logical place for this song to go??

Alternatively,

My heart is made of carbon
And feels just as fragile
As the yellow page you tore
You just lost and broke my heart

Or both. I still don't have a direction in mind for this song, so as far as we're concerned they're all viable lyrics.

(In truth, I probably won't ever finish, but it was fun to come back to it for a little while. I need to write something happy...)

followers of my faith [Mormon Monday 69]

Still haven't found the source for my RS President's Hinckley quote I mentioned last time. I'll probably post about it next week anyway, but in the meantime, enjoy this for-real sourced quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley.

If you are wondering how this is going for me, it is not. But Lent is coming up and all my vices will magically disappear at that time. So that's good. However, I am still striving every day to be a little better. Just in case it'll start working. :)

a House 'neath a soft yellow moon

During my lunch break earlier this week I decided it was time to go to Pottermore and get Sorted. I don't know why now; I've had my account since 2013 (I was not one of the people that got in early), but I was stalled at Philosopher's Stone Chapter 4 and couldn't make my way to Hogwarts so I gave up.

But they changed things so you no longer have to physically follow Harry on his journey toward Hogwarts. You can just go right in! I didn't know that until I decided to look into it on my lunch break.

Oh, I remember now. It's because I didn't expect Tom Felton to sit through the whole first half of the book when he got Sorted this week.

Poor kid...

Anyway. I got my wand (hawthorn and dragon heartstring, 14 1/4 in, surprisingly swishy -- just been reading up about it and apparently I'm troubled yet powerful and it's a good wand for the Dark Arts) and then I put on the Sorting Hat. Or took the Sorting Quiz. It's the same.

Gotta admit, it's not just that I couldn't get past the hut on the rock that I had never been Sorted. It's because I made a choice in 2005 to accept where I was Sorted in the Harry Potter fan community I was involved in, even though I was initially unhappy with it. And I accepted being a Hufflepuff so whole-heartedly that it's become a big part of my identity throughout lo these many years.
I've made great friends in Hufflepuff.

In retrospect, not sure ALL of these are Hufflepuff friends.

I have multiple Hufflepuff shirts.

Oh, 2007 me.

Oh, 2013 me. Wait, this is the same shirt. Guess I don't have any photos of my other Hufflepuff shirt, but rest assured it's really cool. Says "I'm a Keeper" on the front ant "Hufflepuff Quidditch Team" on the back.

I proudly proclaim that I am a Hufflepuff and I staunchly defend the House against its detractors.

This video, for example, makes me so mad:

Oooh, so mad at the stereotyping going on there. And do you really think that all we're good at is finding? I may find my wand pointed at you!

So I didn't make getting Sorted a priority because I was concerned that it wouldn't keep me in Hufflepuff. Being a Hufflepuff is who I am. It's important to me to be a good example of what Hufflepuff can be. When I remember to.

But I guess it was time, or I guess I was bored, because I let JKR's official test tell me where I truly belong.

And it turns out I'm in Ravenclaw.

And it turns out I'm not unhappy about it.

Not saying sometimes we Sort too soon, because before I accepted being a Hufflepuff I was pretty sure I was a Ravenclaw. But I've been happy to be a Hufflepuff and to exemplify the best (and, unfortunately, worst) of the House.

Now I have motivation to keep the loyalty and true friendship that I've learned in Hufflepuff as I rediscover passion for learning and hone my intelligence...or something. Go Ravenclaw.

So both Tom and I (his friends call him Tom) have had a surprise in our Sorts recently. I'm much happier about it than he is...though I am a little concerned that I have no Ravenclaw paraphernalia to support the #ProudestHouse contest going on at Pottermore right now. Maybe I'll have to work into my House Pride.