Monday, September 21, 2009

dark curtains drawn by the passage of time

Happy Birthday to this blog! I can't believe it's been a whole year since I started. All those creative thoughts rattling around my head (thanks, Engl 218R) and I never gave voice to most of them. Maybe someday they'll reappear. Maybe someday I'll have more creative thoughts.

It's interesting that this is the anniversary because today marks the start of my new life as a cancer-free online seminary secretary/coordinator. Phew, it's a big job! But very exciting and I'm happy.

The year saw lots of changes (most of them not documented, of course). I wonder what the next year will bring?

"Recessional" ~ Vienna Teng

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

this moment now. and this moment, now.

Some reflections on my recent road trip:

If I ever have an epiphany, I think it'll be more like a ton of feathers than anything. Because, believe it or not, a ton of feathers will probably hit you with about the same force as a ton of bricks. Maybe a ton of books? I need to ponder this so I can use the appropriate expression -- if I ever have an epiphany.

I can count all my friends on one hand -- in binary! (Except, I can't count at all in binary, so I just told a lie.)

I love proving that you can have guy friends. Like, just plain friends that are guys. I have two or three, so I'm super lucky.

It's different, watching devotional in a classroom rather than watching it in my living room.

Despite the quietness of some of the people I visited yesterday, my listening to talking ratio was still like 3:1. I win at making other people talk.

I try to make eavesdroppers' lives more meaningful. Best way so far: the removal of the hairpiece. Talking to my accessories is up there, too.

And, finally, I love to drive, but David Archuleta gives me a headache (especially a David Archuleta/Taylor Swift mix; urgh).

"Recessional" ~ Vienna Teng

Friday, September 11, 2009

marveling at the bounty our days contain

I love being in a family ward this week. Mum and I went to Enrichment last night; it was based off Oprah and the theme was Simplify.

You know, that doctrine that is so deep, and so true.

This is why Seriously, So Blessed is funny.

(Would've been funnier if the font on our magnets had been Papyrus, but I appreciated the Arial because it seemed to at least make an effort toward being simple.)

"In Another Life" ~ Vienna Teng

Thursday, September 10, 2009

fingers kissed the keys

I have one point of great pride.

118 words

Typing Test

And that is it.

"Decade and One" ~ Vienna Teng
[I'm gonna have to find something else if I ever make a piano post, but this one fits so well!]

Thursday, September 3, 2009

a fierce embrace, a word of thanks

Someday, I want to be talking to a friend that needs some help. I won't know what to say, but I'll do my best. And then they'll say, "You just said exactly what I needed to hear."

Then I will feel like my life has been worth living.

A similar desire: to be talking to a friend when I need some help, and they say exactly what I need to hear, so I can tell them that. Because a friend like that is always nice to have around.

On a related note, does anyone actually say exactly what people need to hear? I mean, there's never any way to know beforehand, and doing something like that by accident seems too unlikely for it to happen as often as it appears to.

But that's just my thought.

"Say Uncle" ~ Vienna Teng

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

to be blind, only my hands to guide me

Last night I was trying to get to sleep (verdict on new mattress: really not a fan) and remembered that when I was a kid (sleeping in perhaps that same bed), I would try and bury my face in my pillow at night. Why? Because one day at the library my teacher and another grownup were talking about how if there was a nuclear bomb, the light would be so bright it would blind us in our sleep. So I would hide my eyes to try and prevent that from occurring.

Even now, I would much rather be vaporized instantly than have to live blind. My sight is precious to me, maybe because it is the physical feature that is most in jeopardy.

On Friday Mom and I went to the LASIK doctor. We watched a movie about the procedure and had a bunch of tests that were very hard for me because I had to keep my eyes open. I blink a lot, especially while wearing glasses, which I had to wear all week in preparation for this appointment. We also did the letter-reading, with dilation and without. I am a much less than ideal ophthalmology patient, because not only do I blink a lot (turns out I have dry eyes), I am photophobic and I hate eyedrops.

I'm also a much less than ideal candidate for LASIK. My eyesight is so very bad, my eye so very long, my cornea so very thin, that it just wouldn't work. In fact, I have ... well, there's a word the doctor used to describe it that I can't remember (it had 'high' in it somewhere), and he also said, "We don't like to call it this, but it's also known as pathological myopia." So I have pathological myopia. And they refuse to do LASIK for me.

Since, you know, I needed another reason to avoid contact sports, they also told me that my eyes are in danger of retinal detachment (which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like). This pleases me, for I have never really liked contact sports (this is like lacrosse, right? And soccer and football and a really aggressive game of ultimate frisbee?) and it turns out that my dislike is founded in a subconscious knowledge that it would be really dangerous for me. Who wants to go blind from a tackle?

I'm still reconciling myself to the fact that my eyesight will just continue to get worse as I get older, but I think it will be okay. I love being able to see what I can (and since it's morning and I haven't put my contacts in yet, it's somewhat less than usual) and I hope everyone appreciates their ability to view the world around them.

"Now Three" ~ Vienna Teng